


Journal

by wandererswan



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, One Shot, bethyl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 10:33:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4218396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wandererswan/pseuds/wandererswan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is just some small and random thing I wanted to write. It's not exactly nice and pretty like I pictured it in my head but Bethyl always gives me feels so... here it is. Hope you enjoy it!</p>
    </blockquote>





	Journal

**Author's Note:**

> This is just some small and random thing I wanted to write. It's not exactly nice and pretty like I pictured it in my head but Bethyl always gives me feels so... here it is. Hope you enjoy it!

It’s raining outside, Daryl’s been out the entire day, between searching with Aaron and taking his time to be alone for a while. Things haven’t been exactly nice since the events of the night when Morgan arrived to the safe zone and Daryl’s promised himself he wouldn’t get involved this time. Every time he does someone gets hurt and if he’s honest, he’s very tired of that.

—Hey, Daryl. Found something, you should come!—Aaron shouted. Daryl fume the last of his cigarette and took his bow walking back.—Maybe they’re near, this is some… pattern I don’t know, this mark’s been here on each place we’ve been walking, do you think we should investigate or leave? —Daryl shrugs. He’s not sure, lately his intuition hasn’t been the best and he wouldn’t trust it.

—Common sense will say leave, but… leaving at this point is still dangerous, whoever they are, they could find… home and that wouldn’t be a good thing—

—True, but if you don’t mind I’d prefer to get back and tell Rick and the others to come with us the next time, just in case things get… messy—and Daryl doesn’t want to think about messy, he doesn’t even want to think about Rick and the usual way things go whenever he’s in charge. Rick’s a brother but… right now, he questions many things, many, many things and Morgan isn’t exactly helping.

He takes his bow on his back and walks away ready to leave. Aaron follows close enough so they can hear each other while they talk. —So… you told me and Eric the other day about… a girl—Daryl grunt. —I don’t want to… be poking about, but… Eric told me and I noticed that you had this… sad look on your face, was she your lover? —Daryl frowned, lover was a… huge word, and he didn’t have time back then to think about love while looking for Beth or taking care of her. He… care, but just that, right? Aaron remained in silence, he thought maybe Daryl wasn’t on the mood, maybe he didn’t want to talk about it or it hurt, he didn’t know.

—It’s complicated to define, but… not like it matter, what I said about her was true but, she’s gone now and… it’s partially my fault—

—You… lost her to the walkers? —Aaron asked and Daryl’s feelings break for a second like a fragile glass on a table.

—Even worse—he muttered, shooting an arrow towards a walker who approached to them too slow to be noticed. —She… was there for a while and then gone, I tried, but not enough—

—I’m sure she knows that now, and I gotta tell you, someone can really feel protected next to you. Surely she felt that way too—

—Make sure Eric doesn’t hear you saying that man, or I’ll be walkers’ snack next time—Aaron laughed.

—So… you did love her—Daryl stopped and placed his hand over a tree, resting his forehead for a moment and indeed thinking because remembering Beth was hard, but it somehow didn’t hurt, just got him the feeling of an emptiness he couldn’t fill with anything, didn’t matter what he did.

—Does it matter? —he asked.

—It does if the feeling’s still there, you can love someone even if it’s gone—Daryl grunts. —But it’s okay, you don’t really need to tell me, we’re still on the road of knowing each other—

—I did—Daryl answered. —I mean… I think I did, but I never got to tell her, I don’t know if I loved her like… in that sense but I did, she was special, she was the last good thing I’ve met—

—Feels good to let it out of your chest doesn’t it? —Daryl smirked trying to ignore him and walking back on track. When they hit the car, Aaron turned it on and before they moved, Aaron handed a small notebook to Daryl. —Don’t know if it’s yours but, I forgot to ask you the other day, think it… fell of your jacket and Eric found it—Daryl took it curious though he didn’t remember having one of those.

When they arrived home, Aaron left and Daryl walked back to the house where Glenn and Michonne were eating something that didn’t look tasty or maybe he wasn’t really hungry. —Gonna shower—he said and shut the room door behind him, getting the notebook out and stepping onto bed to read it. He noticed the front had a little “B” drawn over and he thought for a moment if he kept Beth’s little journal all this time. She always carried it with her but, he didn’t remember taking it when she died.

_“Dear diary; today the sun’s out. I don’t know, I like to think it’s like daddy says, a message from God, that everything will be okay, brighter when our eyes are open. Could be right? Has to be—B”_

He kept himself reading, and each page get more and more connected to her, even though the whole dead boyfriend part, where she even mentioned him and the first hug she gave him, which apparently for Beth was important, she got to know that, in her words _‘he wasn’t a human stone’_ like she thought.

Then the night of the funeral home…

_“This place is not home, definitely doesn’t feel like it and I gotta admit I miss Daryl. I’ve made a friend and his name is Noah, he reminds me of the group and I’m sure if they meet him, they’ll like it like I do. He’s a good guy, like I told Daryl at least there’s still a few good people out there. And… talking about him I wonder if he thinks about the funeral home like me. I wonder if he’s alive or if he’s found the group and Maggie, maybe he did, maybe he’s alive, he has to be alive and… he’s moved on. Not like he needed to miss me, we only were together for a few weeks. Still, I can say he changed, in a good way of course. Daryl’s different and I felt happy, really happy to be the witness of his good side for the first time. If I’m honest I was afraid that night… when I asked Daryl about the thing that changed his mind, I… I realized it wasn’t just the circumstances that changed him, it was… me or I think I was. His look was important and I felt confused because of it, because Daryl felt something for me, though I’m not sure what it was and… I did too. I guess I learned to love Daryl all this time, for all he did for me, because we were alike in our little differences —B”_

 

It bring tears to his eyes. Daryl hated it, hate every letter on that paper and the next that talked about him and the treat Dawn and the others at the hospital were giving to her. She trusted and was betrayed, she became strong but still needed someone, someone she could fully trust and be protected by. _“I’m sorry”_ he muttered softly closing the notebook over his chest. He hadn’t realize how much Beth affected his life all this time since the events after the prison.

 


End file.
